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WHERE IS DR. EVIL? CALLING DR. EVIL!!
posted Thursday, 2 March 2006
All I want is some Frickn' Lasers on Their Heads...Is that so much to ask?
In a stunning display of creativity, the Pentagon has apparently greenlit funding for research into brain implants for sharks, so as to enlist them as "spies" in the Great War Against Terror. Whoever thought of this is a GENIUS! Clearly, Bush (or Cheney, more likely) must be consulting with Dr. Evil!
Think of the possibilities: We can put our spy-sharks into the Tigris and Euphrates Rivers in Iraq, where they can keep a vigilant eye out for members of Al Qaeda, foreign fighters and those other "dead-enders" in their "last throes", then, when they least expect it--as they are enjoying a dip in the river, that is--our spy-sharks will unleash their deadly laser weapons!!
IRAQ Problem Solved!! Next, we can use the sharks to hunt down Osama Bin Laden and Mullah Omar in their Afghani-Pakistani Mountain Hideaways. I'm sure that there are some underground rivers up there, right? I hear that Osama and Omar are avid swimmers, like most people in the region...
(I hope that the Jaws theme music doesn't scare those crafty terrorists out of the water...)